Clare M. Lapworth

Firstly, can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your photography, Clare?

Yeah. So, my name is Clare Martin Lapworth and I'm a working photographer, mostly in the commercial space, but I also do a little bit of visual artist work. I've been working in this space on an off for 20 years. But really, for the past 10 years, been fully immersed in working with visual mediums and working with creating visual assets for various reasons. And I have used a lot of various aspects of my life to feel inspired by what I create. Some of it has been using portraits of local people to my area here in Melbourne, or sometimes it's maybe something like the pandemic that really inspires me to feel like I need to be able to represent that.

Could you tell us a little bit about your finalist work, masks on the inside?

Yeah, I created that last year. We had been under lockdown for over a hundred days, it was quite intense. The children were at home. We all felt really unsure about what was going to happen. And all of us were in the house, and in Melbourne we had curfews and restrictions and it just felt like there was no end sight either. And it did sort of inspire me to start documenting it in the sense of maybe how we were all feeling and using what I could. We weren't to go outside and photograph, but I could photograph within the bounds of my property. And when it came to about this time, so October last year, restrictions were eventually lifted and we were allowed to, we had a big ring of steel around Melbourne. We weren't allowed to even leave our suburb, but eventually we were allowed to Melbourne and going into the country. And the whole time we were locked down I felt this really deep sense of feeling trapped in the city, because I live in the inner city, and all you look around at is other buildings, and I wanted to see nature.

So, as soon as we could, we headed straight out to the countryside and we felt this great sense of relief and freedom, and you could see the horizon, and you could see trees and animals, and it was pretty amazing for us all. And we went swimming in the lake out in Dawnford and it just felt like this wonderful euphoric moment of, "Oh my God!, I can't believe that's over." Little did we know. And then we headed upstairs in the lake. There's an old change room and my youngest headed upstairs and she became really fearful of not having a mask on. And it really said to me, representing how that sentiment of the virus being very present in our lives, and she was only five, and she put that, says we will need to wear our masks inside. And children didn't need to, but she felt this sense to do it. Then, she stood in the doorway and I just happened to have my camera with me, and she stood in the doorway and just waited, and the moment just presented itself so, so I snapped it.

Yeah. It's such a quiet, personal little moment as well.

Yeah. I didn't pose her, she just stood there like that and I just took her, and she looked back out over the lake but was facing inside. And for me, that really sort of represented how it really felt during lockdown, was you're captured, you're in a or a confines or something, and then you can look out and you do look towards the future and you look out of the confounds of where you are, but yet you are still drawn in.

Yeah, and even the scale of it to me, she's such a small little figure with a lot of looming architecture, and walls, and solid structures around her as well. So that scale of being so small in the photo as well was really vulnerable as well and I was like oh!

Yeah. And I think now we've come to the pointy end of it all, the children are the ones that have been left vulnerable to the virus and now we're in Melbourne heading out of that long lockdown again and the kids are heading back to school. And there is a general sentiment in the community of, well, my child's not protected and they're going back to a school with a thousand kids in it. I guess we're just hoping for the best. And yeah, I think that incidentally, that vulnerability of the children does sort of come through.

And it's really hard no matter how careful you are, to filter what kids see and hear, because it's absolutely everywhere. So,  even if your own home, it's someone else saying to them, to be scared or to be frightened, it's overwhelming.

Yeah. I think it's very visual, isn't it? And that's what the image also represents. It's that, here are the walls that we must exist within. And some of us have done that alone as well. Like you know, I've got insane cause I haven't been alone.

Yeah.

But, some people have done that all by themselves, and some friends of mine have been alone for on and off for two years, and that's been a really difficult place. And I felt when I saw the image, when I was looking at the image later on and reflecting on it, I really felt that that represented the isolation of it as well, and her pop of colour against the more neutral tones.

Yeah. she's a little flame in there in that red dress. So what do you think, what did it being selected for the prize for living memory? What does that mean to you, I guess, personally and professionally?

It was pretty big honour. I grew up in Canvas, I know all about it.

Awesome.

And I have been watching it since it started and coming to the exhibition and...

Yeah, cool.

Yeah. So, I feel like for me it's quite a long personal journey and I've been, as I said, in and out of photography mostly for 20 years, but for the past 10 years really looking to be represented in this space. So, for me it was a pretty big deal. And I felt really honoured to be a part of other people who I know who have been in it and also some of the really amazing artists who are featured in it and to have my name against that felt pretty amazing.

And so you are developing your artistic sort of side of your practise. I think you were saying now, so going into more shooting what you are really passionate about and you are studying counselling as well, is that right? So looking at melding those two paths, like that cathartic nature of photography and...

Yeah, absolutely. I'm almost finished a master's in counselling and definitely looking at representing and looking at youth, and children, and motherhood as well is something that resonates strongly with me and always has. Representing a journey of maybe how world's perceived or how maybe the others look out is something that I've been looking at. I recently just did a portrait study with my... because of restrictions, my oldest child. And she's on the autistic spectrum. And so looking at how maybe she views the world out and looking at how maybe, it's not always us looking in, how is the world being projected out to others. So, that's been a really great project that she's very willingly participated in.

Awesome.

Yeah.

And having the background of being a parent of a child on the spectrum and going on that journey, along with understanding the years and years of intense therapy involved. A lot of the parents, I talk to don't feel like they've been represented or accounted for, and I think that's something I would like to further develop in my practise.

Yeah, that sounds amazing. And I guess it does lead into my next question really quite naturally was, how have lockdowns and all the changes in the world affected your practise, your photography progress? Obviously, professionally it's had a big effect, but personally and professionally?

Yeah. It's a great question. Because I think initially I felt very creatively deflated and I felt maybe completely overwhelmed. No, not maybe, completely overwhelmed by everything that was going on. However, strangely enough, as the pull back of life and having to be centred at home, I actually found the time to reflect more on what I thought creatively and be able to develop that sense of where I want to take my own personal practise. And whereas when I was running my studio and I'm working in a commercial sense, you're flat out and you're too busy and you go, I'm going to develop this more later. And then, then later it gets pushed out. Whereas strangely enough, in the pandemic, I really found, I had a lot of time to sit and I wanted to, and I felt like I needed to represent this time in my life.

Awesome. A lot of self-reflection with the shutdown for artists, I think it's sort of reshaping the way a lot of artists operate.

Yeah. And I think it invoked feelings and emotions that maybe really strong. Feelings and emotions of out of control, lack of sense of what's going on, loneliness, frustration, overwhelmed with people, overwhelmed lack of people. And using all those feelings and also particularly here in Melbourne, everything was literally shocked. I live in a busy street and it was empty.

Yeah.

I live in a busy vibrant urban centre and people were weeping on the streets at some stage.

Crazy.

And I could just walk down the street and see people crying. You really were visually surrounded by ... the feeling was very much there too.

So one thing we get asked a lot, and it's usually sort of aspiring more people that are entering the prize asking on social media and stuff is, what sort of technic or equipment do you use? What's your selected equipment that you like to use?

I use a Canon Mark IV and my favourite lens is a 50 mm Sigma art lens. That's my lens of choice. However, I will say, you're not always bound by your equipment because sometimes some things just present themselves and you might only have a small camera or your iPhone on you.

Yeah.

And I think, and I teach often photography and I will say to the students, "sometimes you don't limit yourself to your equipment, limit yourself by what's around you." So, but yes, my equipment of choice, I have bronch colour lights in my studio and I have a series of Canon cameras, and I also have mirrorless, I could go on all day, but when the money runs out. But to be honest, I feel like you can't be limited by your equipment. Don't stop and say, "Well, I won't do it because I don't have a fancy camera." It's not the fancy camera, it's your own ability to see light, shape, form and capture a moment.

So, you're a photography teacher as well, you just said.

Yeah. I just guess lecturer when it crops up for students.

That's awesome.

And I teach what workshops and mentor other photographers, particularly in the commercial space.

Well, that leads into the second part is, do you have any advice for aspiring photographers? It's like, we've, seguewayed this, it's amazing.

Yeah. It's a roller coaster, and if you have to take the heat in the kitchen, keep trying, there will be more rejection than there will not, and it takes time. I think when you start out, the students see the success of others and they wonder how they'll ever get there. And I think when someone is successful that rollercoaster of self doubt still exists. So, I'm pretty sure even if you ask the most successful artists or in whatever you want to succeed in, they'll probably still have that enemy of the person who's, "All in me? No, not me." So, I think it's just keep going, it's a roller coaster and you've got to ride it. Be good when it's good. Don't cry too much when it's bad.

Awesome. So what about photographers or artists that you look up to or that inspire you?

Yeah. I remember I really loved Petrina Hicks' work. I loved the stillness and the quiet. And she works with children a lot too. And I always really loved her work right from a technical point of view through to what it represented and that stillness of the portraits, particularly the bird series. And for me also there's a lot of really great photographers who are not well known. There's just people who have this passion and drive, and they're people that exist in my community, and I look at the work they produce and I think they're amazing. And you are getting out there and maybe they don't because they're not trying to do it for a reason, they don't have this hindrance of self doubt. They're just getting out there and making work.

And Eleanor Ann Nelson, who's a local artist in my area, she produces really wonderful series representing motherhood and has been a wonderful mentor to me over the years to show me how to go about creating bodies of work and the journey that is the creation of a body of work. Then I've had wonderful teachers and mentors over the years, so I've been very fortunate.

That's Cool. What about, can you remember the first photograph you ever took? Do you have a conscious memory of taking a photograph when you were young?

Well, maybe not the first one I ever took. There's no photos of me as a child. It's not like I come from this long line of wonderful photographers. There's no like in focus photos of me. However, when I hit high school, I became interested, and it was still film obviously back then. I was really interested and I decided in my art class that I was going to use cameras to make my final project for the year and I would've been, I guess, 13 or 14, and I dressed my little cousin up and created a whole scene in the kitchen and took this photo, and entered it in the word and Plaza photography competition. Had this great sense of wow.

That's awesome.

We had the living memory portrait prize, and then we have the word and Plaza.

Yeah. It's secondary only to the Hyper D. Right.?

So maybe it's something I knew I loved when I was a teenager and thought it was really great. But like as I said, for 10 years, post school, post studying that I kind of came in and out of it because I guess I wasn't really sure and now, 10 years I've been slugging away.

Amazing. And is your family still here?

No. They moved away. A lot of my friends still live of there. No, they moved up to Sydney. We were originally from Sydney. They moved back to Sydney. But we come back all the time. My best work is at the Portrait Gallery.

Oh, cool!

It is?

Yeah, Awesome. so it'll be good if you can come and see the exhibition if this ...

Boy, I am planning on it when they let us out. Yes, I'm planning to come in January.

Ah, so good. Let us know when you're coming.

Yeah. And I'm bringing Saskia. Cause she thinks it's a solo exhibition of her.

Yes, It totally is.

"When do we going to the gallery to see the famous picture of me?" And I'm like it not a famous picture of you Saskia.

That's cool. We'll have to wear her red dress if it still fits up.

She's planning it, don't worry. That's a long ... There's a nothing else to talk about it.

She's Curated it.

She's curated it.

What about dream subject? If you could have anyone in front of your camera in the wild?

I don't think I have a particular dream subject to be honest. I love the everyday person. And for me, it's not about models and beauty, because in commercial world, that is really what you're aspiring to work with, from perfect object, perfect shape.

Yeah.

I actually really love the imperfection of life and having now been in the neurodiverse community for 10 years, these quirks and these aspects of people are actually what makes things much more interesting than perfection and having something in front of you. So for me, it would be having unvetted access to representing people who they are.

That's awesome. What about any shout outs and thank yous?

Well, shout out to Eleanor Ann Nelson and Rhicky Bunda, who from the beginning always told me to keep going, don't stop and have been wonderful living, working artists themselves for many years. And also, of course my husband who has put up with the many hours of writing submissions, and putting work in, and listening to me go on about things and being one of my wonderful supporters along with my children who are the willing and unwilling subjects of my work many times over. And if they hadn't been willing subjects to sit for my ideas, then maybe my ideas would've gone nowhere.

Perfect. So good. What about Clare's parting words of wisdom? They can be art or life or whatever you want.

Clare's wisdom words? Not often a statement I get.

Sounds like a coffee mug now.

Buy the coffee mug. My words of wisdom would be, I think within all of us, there is something worthwhile putting out to the universe and saying what is said and whatever is said doesn't matter because it's your thoughts anyway.